Your Questions About Baby Care

Helen asks…

I’m having a baby and I’m very scared of all the recalls on china, where can I find a crib made in the USA?

The Expert answers:

The problems with the cribs had nothing to do with where they were made, but with the American-made design of the cribs and the poor assembly instructions. Even Mattel recently admitted that the majority of their recalls were due to poor American designs and not manufacturing issues in China.

Michael asks…

Canadian moms only – did you buy baby furniture in the USA and have any trouble bringing it back to Canada?

I could not find what I wanted anywhere except Babies R Us and it is a not as nice version of what I found at JC Penny! Plus it works out to be about $1200.00 more! However a friend just told me her friend’s sister had a brand new car seat confiscated at the border as it did not meet CSA standards. I do not want $1500.00 of furniture confiscated. I called Canada customs to check on duty to see if it was worth it to purchase in the USA (no duty, only GST/PST as it is USA made) – I am assuming they would have mentioned the crib would be subject to approval?? I will call again tomorrow during business hours but was hoping someone could ease my mind tonight. Anyone else purchase their set across the border? Have any issues? This is the set I have purchased!!
http://www3.jcpenney.com/jcp/X6.aspx?deptid=70676&catid=77448&grptyp=PRD&itemid=1a03740&dep=BABY&pcat=BABY&cat=Baby+FurniturE&refpagename=XGN%252Easpx&refdeptid=70676&refcatid=77448&cmAMS_T=XGN3&cmAMS_C=FEATURE&cmAMS_Z=XGN3ABOVEPAGINATION&CmCatId=70676|77448
Considering the amount, we will have to declare it and pay tax. It will also be in the open in the back of my husband’s truck as we can’t fit it all in my SUV. I am hoping they only deal with transportation issues and my crib set will be ok!

The Expert answers:

12 Years ago, we bought a walker, with wheels. They werent available here. (I was sure my daughter would be safe, our house had no stairs) We werent questioned at the border, but it was in the trunk, and the car wasnt inspected.

Betty asks…

Which Crib Should I get for my Newborn?

Hi,

I am going to be a new dad ad I need some advice. Please let me know what your opinions are on either crib ad which one I should buy. I would like to buy USA made products only. I don’t know the sex of the baby yet. I have narrowed it down to the following:

Babyletto Mercer Crib :
http://www.amazon.com/Babyletto-Mercer-Convertible-Espresso-White/dp/B000Z3DWHK/ref=sr_1_2?ie=UTF8&s=baby-products&qid=1282400480&sr=1-2

OR

Child Craft Falls Village Euro Style Wood Crib:
http://www.babycribstation.com/Child-Craft-Easy-Use-No-dropside-Crib-in-Matte-White-10011-46.htm

The Expert answers:

I like the second one, but that is just a matter of personal taste. Just make sure it converts easily from crib to toddler day-bed.

Daniel asks…

Question about giving a gift to a mom trying to go green?

A friend of mine is due in about 7 weeks. Her baby shower is in 3 weeks.
I noticed on her invite she requested ‘no plastic toys’. Her registry is almost entirely organic or green choices. She still has rubber bottle nipples but they are ‘free’ from all the harmful plastic additives. The onesies she registered for are either bamboo or organic cotton. She registered for an organic layette though I don’t think her crib set is organic cotton.
She herself does not live ‘green’ and her husband doesn’t either (if they were die-hard organic-only people I’d understand more).

Here is my problem. I was going to hand-paint some onesies for her. I already bought them, they are 100% cotton, but not ‘organic’ cotton. I can buy the ones she registered for and paint those, but I’m concerned she is going to freak out about the paint being on them (the paint is labeled as non-toxic and made in the USA – its intended for fabrics).

I’m sure she’ll be polite but I don’t want to waste my time, money and energy if she’s going to smile then not use them because they are ‘tainted’.
I am also an avid knitter. I find that most parents appreciate some kind of poly blend yarn on baby blankets because it makes them machine washable and dryable. 100% cotton yarn is NOT soft and cuddly.
I was planning on giving her a hand-knit blanket as well.

Now I don’t know what to do…..
I kind of think this is an ‘ideal’ she is trying to meet, but will quickly abandon once her kid is here. I understand about being strict about the food they consume, but unless its a lifestyle choice for yourself, then organic cotton clothing doesn’t seem to be any safer to me.

I don’t know what to do. I don’t know her well enough to call and ask since I’m afraid I’ll insult her. I LOVE making this stuff and its very cute and I’ve always gotten tons of thanks… but now I’m afraid to give her anything I make.

Help?

The Expert answers:

I thnk that gesture is really really sweet. My husband and i were really trying to “be green” for our baby. We, however, do live a pretty “green” lifestyle. Or, we did, until we had a baby. We registered for green things only too. We used reusable diapers, organic body soaps, and asked for 100% organic cotton clothes. (side note: 100% organic cotton white onsies are super super soft…mmMMMMmm). With all that said, about 10 seconds after our son was born and swiftly trucked off to the NICU all that went out the window. They put him in Huggies and gave him Enfamil when I wasn’t there to BFeed him. When we finally got him home, we didn’t care about using resusable diapers or organic whatever. She will be proud to get as much sleep as she can and “green” is not conveinent for that…trust me.

With all that said, she should appreciate the hand painted onsies that you are making for her. If she doesn’t immediately… I can PROMISE she will come back to you a couple of weeks after the baby is born and tell you how much she loves them. She will eventually get off her “green” high horse. I know i did. 🙂

Donald asks…

should i just leave my husband?

me and my husband have been married for a year and a half. we met and a few months later got married in may. after we got married about 2 months in he started acting weird.. stopped having sex with me and turned into an all around douche bag. anything i said or did or ate made him irate.

In july we went to his grandparents funeral and while visiting the area he tried to ditch me to visit a “friend” by himself. I told him i wanted to go then suddenly he didnt want to go. we were even invited to her party but he did not want to take me. while we were at his cousins house a different girl texted him. he woudlnt tell me who she was or anything and finally i got pissed off and showed it in front of his cousin and finally his cousin was like who is she? and he was like GOD we only made out once.

in august his phone went off for a text and he was sleeping. so i opened it and it had a weird message in it.. i began to read all the messages and i said out loud.. OMG your cheating on in me. in a loud calm voice.. he immidately woke up and ran to me to assure me he wasnt. then he got frustrated with the convo and was like geez why dont u check my myspace to. AND GUESS WHAT i did. and found out 2 weeks before we got married he told that “friend” that he wanted to see that she was the love of his life.. when i confronted him about that he said he did it cause me and him got into an arguement.

2 days before my birthday which is the last day of august he broke up with me. and wanted to pursue an annullment. I would have nothing of it .. i left college and moved halfway across the USA to be with him. i sold/ditched all my furniture and everything where i used to live. i wanted a real divorce.

so his friend that he spilled his guts to about me .. and talked so much crap about me to.. professes his feelings for me. i couldnt believe it at first.. i thought it was some sort of a trick.. then he went on to tell me how my husband just made himself to look like an jerk. it was soon apparent that he actually did like me. He would constantly message me on my computer under a name my husband didnt know.. and soon my husband got jealous.

his friend wasnt even saying anything flirty… he would just talk to me.. my husband would be like look we arent divorced yet.. and i would say i know.. and i have done nothing wrong. but very soon after his friend professed his feelings for me it became apparent that he wanted more then i could give emotionally at that time. i was still married.. so i told him i couldnt pursue anything with him and in the meantime i was stupid enough to try to reconcile my marriage and tell my husband how much i loved him and wanted to be with him.

during this time my husband became aware he would have to pay me 780 a month until the divorce was finalized because i waas his dependant and wouldnt be able to pay the bills and make rent without me as a roomate which i refused and i made plans to move out.

one day my husband realized who it was i was talking to… his friend that he had vented to about me.. he really couldnt believe it. I guess he must have said some really bad things about me.. or he thought he did… guess he didnt realize how much of an ass he made himself out to be. well the next day my husband tells me he was wrong.. he loves me and he wants to be with me….

shortly after i become pregnant.. my husband is incredibly lazy.. it took alot of bitching and complaining to get the crib set built.. and while pregnant he made me get him heavy cases of soda… after she was born my husband would freak out about the crying .. even scream in our baby‘s face at the top of his lungs.. anytime she needs attension he gets upset.. he doesnt scream in her face anymore.. it took me screaming at him many times and telling him i would leave him for him to stop. he doesnt want to give me a break.. he says he wasnt ready for a child. he is 24 almost and i am 27 now.i am a stay at home mom.. cause day care is too expensive. he complains if i ask him to hold her while i make dinner or do the dishes or the laundry.. and on top of it he gets pissed if i stay up late to do chores..

i am tired of the constant argueing.. i am starting to think we are really resenting each other right now.

i dont really know what to do.. he wont discuss things with me.. and his mood goes from pissed off to 20 min later lovey dovey.. which ugh.. i want to do family things.. i dont want to do everything while he plays video games..
also we dont have the money for a divorce… this year when we do our taxes we will get a 5k new baby credit which i was hoping to pay the credit card with… ALL the bills everything is in my name because i have a high credit score and he has a really low score
he does love our daughter.. he is just impatient with her..doesnt seem to want to make time for her. no that she is 4months she is alot more reasonable then when she was new born

The Expert answers:

You married a man you didnt even know. Was it really love cause it doesnt seem that way at all on his end? It seems like you held on to something that wasnt worth holding on to at all. Now you have 2 kids to take care of…your daughter and your immature jerk of a husband. This is obviusly who he is and how things are going to stay with him. He is going to resent you and selfishly do things that will hurt you without considering anything else. You cannot trust this guy at all. He doesnt seem to have any attachment to you or your child at all and seems resentful of your daughter. Are you waiting to get pregnanat again or for him to give you some horrible std that could take you away from your daughter (HPV for example is the cause of cervical cancer which is the leading killer of women and condoms do not prevent it because you get it from skin to skin contact from various areas of the body)? This guy doesnt care about you at all, he got back with you so no one else would and cause he is seflish and didnt want to shell out money. Be wise and get a divorce and find a guy who will love you and appreciate you and care for your daughter as if she were his own…which her own father apparently is not willing to do. Good luck and best of wishes.

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