Your Questions About Baby Care

How long does it take to change a baby?

How long does it take to change a baby? Since the day I had my child I was constantly being watched 24/7 by social services. I was placed in a mother and baby unit were I was constantly being observed. I am a unexperienced mother as she is my first baby I have even held and I get nervous as I am alwayz constantly being watched by social services. They always complained about my parenting skills but I didn’t think I was doing anything wrong. I provided my baby with all her care feeding, changing, bathing, etc. First of all when my baby was first born they used to say I didn’t play with her enough and provide enough stimulation. I started to play with her more when she was about 6 weeks when she started smiling at me as I loved seeing her smile and giggle and I try teach her words and stuff. Now she is crawling around and everything they say I take too slow to change her. They say that I take too long to change my baby. They say I take 10-15 minutes when it should only take 2 minutes. My baby wiggles everywere and wont stay stil which makes it hard for me to change her but i stil change her and she always clean but yet social services complain and say my parenting skills are not good enough as I take too slow to change her diaper and clothes ermmm I didn’t know it was a timing competition and you have to change your baby in a set time. She happy and healthy and thats what matters isnt it. Why are social services being so harsh on me. Does it really matter how quick you change your baby. They also say I spend too long washing her bottles. Atleast her bottles are clean. They just critisize everything I do. They make me feel like I’m a really bad mum when I do try my best and I love her the world and more but yet they make me feel so bad. Why won’t they just leave me alone.
No I do not have autistic. I havn’t even heard of it before and I don’t have a mental disabilty. I only suffer from OCD and anxiety. Thats all and damn it people like you that makes me feel like i’m a bad mum calling me mental and saying i take to slow to change my baby geesh like I said it not a timing competition does it really matter how long it takes and if you think it does than your obv a snobby cu nt who thinks your better than people that might be a little slow and that is nothing to be proud off so shame on you for looking down on people and judgeing them without even knowing them.

child care in my home. what do you think? (please read all details before replying. sorry it’s a bit long)?

i will be getting my cpr and 1st aid certifications soon and would like to babysit in my home so that in addition to the extra income my son would have a few playmates. do you think other parents would be against this? or would they just see it as anyone watching several children at once?

how many people actually use unlicensed child care services anyway? (not just a night of babysitting). i’m a little concerned that people would want to drop their kids off at my home instead of us going to theirs. we’re healthy and the house is clean. i’m getting a swing set and slide put up. is it a problem if i have a dog? he’s outdoor only but would parents frown on that?

i wouldn’t want to watch too many kids at the same time. i think 4 will be the max. does that sound like too many? and i would like to only care for kids near my child’s age but that just sounds silly to me. but i can tutor well too so should it matter what age children i care for? or should tutoring being a whole other venture?

and what should i charge? daycare rates here range from $120-$165/week general hours are 7 am – 6 pm monday through friday. so round about $29/day or $2.50/hour (wow) which includes 1 meal and 2 snacks. i’ve looked around and babysitters here charge from $5-$15. considering that minimum wage is $7.25 and it’s still hard to get a good job, it seems outrageous to charge more than most people can afford. i think i’d like to have a sliding fee scale but then it seems unfair that if i might like a child better i’d let their parents pay less. although i DO want to have a multiple child discount of some sort.

also, shouldn’t people charge less NOT more for night watching? because kids sleep at night right? well, not babies. so should charge more for them? which makes me think i should charge for age anyway. or not for age but for if they use diapers or not?

a flat fee sounds great to me but if i’m watching kids at any and all hours of the day it doesn’t sound feasible. or should i charge a flat rate for people with regular schedules and then hourly for those random parents? should i charge less per hour for longer days and more for that date-night?

there is so much to consider. please give me your thoughts and advice. thank you.
getting an in-home daycare license is only a matter of $3 for an application packet and few background checks and house inspection. no biggie

i forgot about snooty people. in which case i hope to just not accept their children into my care but you never know how they’ll turn out later. i already have a form of liability insurance on my house and property but if i do actually attempt this venture i’ll be sure to get more. thank you for you help

he took my baby..how is this ok?

I have a really long and complicated story–so please bare with me.

On 8/9/10 I gave birth to a beautiful baby girl. Sadly she was taken from me by her father when she was only 4 weeks old. She is now 2 months old and I haven’t seen her in a month. My daughter’s father lived with me at the time. He was supposed to go away for a weekend trip to visit his family. They lived 3 hours away. It was agreed that he would return home Monday with our child. During early hours of Monday I asked him a question about where our relationship was going. Perfectly normal question after just having a baby with someone I think. I got sad when I didn’t get the answer I was hoping for. After the birth of my daughter I had developed postpartum depression and was having cry spells and experiencing some pretty bad depression and I purposely cut myself once. I used to be a self-injurer but have recovered. I went off my antidepressant when I discovered my pregnancy to protect my unborn child, and once I was done breastfeeding her (only did it 5 days) I went back on my antidepressant. Antidepressants take 4 to 6 weeks to build up in a persons body before they are effective. My boyfriend returned home that Monday without my daughter, told me we’d get her the next day after we did some talking. Instead he breaks up with me, demands I sign him over custody or he’d expose my past history of depression and self-injury to the court. I didn’t sign over custody. The next day Tuesday, he asked what stuff of my daughter’s he could take. Him being the biological father, I thought he was allowed to take her and I wanted her to have the things she needed, so i let him take stuff. I came home and EVERYTHING was gone. Every wipe, every piece of clothing, every momento, her footprints, everything! He took it ALL! Furniture gone, every diaper. Later that Tuesday I get a call from the courts. he filed for emergency custody and said that I was an unfit mother and wouldnt feed the baby in his absence, and that he felt the baby wasnt safe. He said I tried to stab him. Said I had pills and razors lying everywhere that my 2 yr old son had access to. He said I am addicted to anti-nausea medicine and laxatives. All are NOT true. I have witnesses who saw me feed my daughter the 2 occassions my boyfriend was out of the house. I NEVER tried to stab him or ANYONE. I have no pills or razors lying around. The antinausea medicine I was supposedly addicted to was prescribed to me during the pregnancy for morning sickness and I took it so I wouldnt puke my guts up all the time. The laxatives I need to use the restroom or I cant go at all. Yes I used to cut myself, yes I accidentally did during my postpartum depression. no I never abused either of my children. both are cared for. child services was called in on this cause of my ex boyfriend and they found nothing in my house and saw my son is being cared for. Yet the court granted my boyfriend temporary custody of my daughter. Could it because I didn’t make the hearing? I thought I needed an attorney. I thought an attorney was a must have or you cant show up..so I didnt. I tried to receive counsel but was denied by legal aid since there was no immediate threat of danger. We were never married and in Ohio an unmarried mother automatically has full custody of a child. He had her 3 days in his possession with NO custody rights. I found this law out through a prosecuting attorney in my county. This case was also out of venue–it was in a different county than my daughter resides in. As soon as I found out that I had FULL custody rights I started calling my boyfriend and demanding he bring her home. I received no responses. I filed a police report and NOTHING ever came out of it. He kidnapped a child but somehow thats ok? I have a lawyer now and she says its going to be a tough fight. Since I didnt attend the first hearing the judge already has in his head that everything my ex boyfriend is claiming is true..which its NOT. I also just read online that once a temporary custody arrangement is in order that it can be considered permanent because I judge will rarely change a custody arrangement. Do I stand any chance at all of getting my 2 month old daughter back? How can he get away with this? Meanwhile I’m rebuying everything he took—cribs, diapers, bottles, changing table, strollers, wipes, everything. Help me to understand how this is legal that he is getting away with this? And how can the law allow me to keep my son in my house if I’m such an “unfit” mother. its hypocritical to say I can have my son (hes from a different father by the way) but not my daughter. I have a psychologist who tested me and said I’m functioning and there is no reason I shouldnt have my daughter. Will my past of self-injury come back to haunt me in court? Help!!!

he took my baby..how is this legal?

I have a really long and complicated story–so please bare with me.

On 8/9/10 I gave birth to a beautiful baby girl. Sadly she was taken from me by her father when she was only 4 weeks old. She is now 2 months old and I haven’t seen her in a month. My daughter’s father lived with me at the time. He was supposed to go away for a weekend trip to visit his family. They lived 3 hours away. It was agreed that he would return home Monday with our child. During early hours of Monday I asked him a question about where our relationship was going. Perfectly normal question after just having a baby with someone I think. I got sad when I didn’t get the answer I was hoping for. After the birth of my daughter I had developed postpartum depression and was having cry spells and experiencing some pretty bad depression and I purposely cut myself once. I used to be a self-injurer but have recovered. I went off my antidepressant when I discovered my pregnancy to protect my unborn child, and once I was done breastfeeding her (only did it 5 days) I went back on my antidepressant. Antidepressants take 4 to 6 weeks to build up in a persons body before they are effective. My boyfriend returned home that Monday without my daughter, told me we’d get her the next day after we did some talking. Instead he breaks up with me, demands I sign him over custody or he’d expose my past history of depression and self-injury to the court. I didn’t sign over custody. The next day Tuesday, he asked what stuff of my daughter’s he could take. Him being the biological father, I thought he was allowed to take her and I wanted her to have the things she needed, so i let him take stuff. I came home and EVERYTHING was gone. Every wipe, every piece of clothing, every momento, her footprints, everything! He took it ALL! Furniture gone, every diaper. Later that Tuesday I get a call from the courts. he filed for emergency custody and said that I was an unfit mother and wouldnt feed the baby in his absence, and that he felt the baby wasnt safe. He said I tried to stab him. Said I had pills and razors lying everywhere that my 2 yr old son had access to. He said I am addicted to anti-nausea medicine and laxatives. All are NOT true. I have witnesses who saw me feed my daughter the 2 occassions my boyfriend was out of the house. I NEVER tried to stab him or ANYONE. I have no pills or razors lying around. The antinausea medicine I was supposedly addicted to was prescribed to me during the pregnancy for morning sickness and I took it so I wouldnt puke my guts up all the time. The laxatives I need to use the restroom or I cant go at all. Yes I used to cut myself, yes I accidentally did during my postpartum depression. no I never abused either of my children. both are cared for. child services was called in on this cause of my ex boyfriend and they found nothing in my house and saw my son is being cared for. Yet the court granted my boyfriend temporary custody of my daughter. Could it because I didn’t make the hearing? I thought I needed an attorney. I thought an attorney was a must have or you cant show up..so I didnt. I tried to receive counsel but was denied by legal aid since there was no immediate threat of danger. We were never married and in Ohio an unmarried mother automatically has full custody of a child. He had her 3 days in his possession with NO custody rights. I found this law out through a prosecuting attorney in my county. This case was also out of venue–it was in a different county than my daughter resides in. As soon as I found out that I had FULL custody rights I started calling my boyfriend and demanding he bring her home. I received no responses. I filed a police report and NOTHING ever came out of it. He kidnapped a child but somehow thats ok? I have a lawyer now and she says its going to be a tough fight. Since I didnt attend the first hearing the judge already has in his head that everything my ex boyfriend is claiming is true..which its NOT. I also just read online that once a temporary custody arrangement is in order that it can be considered permanent because I judge will rarely change a custody arrangement. Do I stand any chance at all of getting my 2 month old daughter back? How can he get away with this? Meanwhile I’m rebuying everything he took—cribs, diapers, bottles, changing table, strollers, wipes, everything. Help me to understand how this is legal that he is getting away with this? And how can the law allow me to keep my son in my house if I’m such an “unfit” mother. its hypocritical to say I can have my son (hes from a different father by the way) but not my daughter. I have a psychologist who tested me and said I’m functioning and there is no reason I shouldnt have my daughter. Will my past of self-injury come back to haunt me in court? Help!!!

If social services takes away someone’s baby and then they have another baby…?

will social services take away that child, too? I know a girl, Jenny, who had a baby in July. DCS took the baby away because she wasn’t taking care of him. She’d leave him in his crib screaming for hours, not changing his diapers or feeding him. He was losing about a pound a week, so when he hit 5 lbs, DCS intervened. Poor thing. Now this woman, Jenny, is running her mouth to everyone that she’s “trying for a 2nd one” (with 2 different men). I know this next kid is going to be born into a million and one problems. Will DCS just take this one automatically? Or will she have to neglect this one for a month, too?