Your Questions About Baby Care

Joseph asks…

my 1 year old baby likes to bite me or things?

out of blue, she bit my hand or my leg or any part of my body and it hurts like hell, cuz i try to pat her head to move or get off! She bit and holds it for few seconds/mins then i say OWWW….it hurts…and she’s very quiet, is she still teething or why bitting me? i try give her toys to bite on, not me! mommy is hurting!

The Expert answers:

They like to see your reactions… My son bites and he’ll look at me if i reacts then smiles.

Charles asks…

Whats the best present to get YOUR one year old baby?? Any ideas please?

My baby is going to turn one in 2 months time and I want to get her something special. I;m starting to think about what to get her now because I want it to be special.
I think any old toy wont do, I want it to be something useful or precious, i was thinking maybe jewelery but its hard for them to wear it at that age isnt it?
any ideas….what did you get yours for their 1st birthday?

The Expert answers:

We go to the Vermont Teddy Bear Factory every year to get a Teddy bear for our sons. They are COMPLETELY baby proof. You can order them online, too. They have one that is for baby’s first birthday. They can sit on a shelf or they can be loved for years to come.

Sandy asks…

What should we take to a 1 year old’s birthday party?

It’s really more of a BBQ to get together with friends, my boyfriend says that we need to just bring beer but I think you should always bring something for the hosts. And what about the baby?

Should we bring some kind of food dish? Wine? Dessert? Books or toys for the baby??? What would a 1 year old like? I don’t have kids.

The Expert answers:

I think the easiest thing to bring is just a small cake that’s fairly cheap and buy toys for the baby because it’s only 1 it can’t read

Chris asks…

How do I get my 4 year old son to stop pushing his 1 year old brother around? and share?

My youngest son is only 16 months old, he’s a happy little baby.. my oldest son is 4, he’s happy too, but hes so mean sometimes. After Christmas they got soooo many new toys, and whenever my youngest son plays with one of my older son’s toys my older son gets so angry, he pushes his little brother down, and or squeezes, slaps, or screams at my younger son. My younger son got a lot of new toys for Christmas and now the older one wants to share, but his idea of sharing is taking his younger brothers toys and “borrowing” them.. and then when he wants to play with his own toy my oldest will freak out. I try explaining that all that time.. that “its HIS toy ! leave him alone, don’t hurt, have a time out.. ” but nothing seems to be working. he still gets violent with his younger brother. I just wish he could share. Any ideas? is it normal for my older son to be so mean to his younger brother? I should add that we don’t believe in hitting/spanking.
Thank you April, but why wouldnt it be hypocritical of me to hit my son, and then say “DONT HIT” ?

The Expert answers:

A lot of parents expect their child to share but do you? It’s hard to share! Would you loan your neighbor your new dress or car? What if you were forced? How would you feel? It’s essentially the same thing for children when it comes to their prized possessions. They don’t want to share them either! If you force your child to share, it will only cause anger and resentment. Sharing is something that should come from the heart. I teach preschool and in my classroom this is what works. A child can use something for as long as they want. When they put it away another child can use it. The children understand the ways of our classroom and accept this. When he takes something from his brother, don’t take it away. If you take the toy away he will not learn to problem solve and will continue taking toys away from his brother. You can talk to your child in ways so that he can see his brother’s point of view. “It looks like Mike really likes your toy. I bet he would like to play with it too. Maybe when you’re finished he can play with it.” These words may help him to empathize with his brother and he may choose to share. Have your son pick out some things that he is willing to share with his brother and put away the things he does not want to share. Remember not to force it. Let it come from the heart.

Yes! It is very common for children to be jealous and mean to their sibling. He was the center of your world for a long time and now he has to share you. He is trying to feel powerful. Make sure you take time everyday to show you’re love. When his brother is sleeping, read him a story, do an art project and things that show he is the “big boy” (he can help make dinner, help with his brother…getting a diaper, let him pick out his brother’s outfit…)

When he hurts his brother, rush to his brother and empathize. Say “Ouch! That must have hurt! You must be so upset! Let’s get some ice too put on your sore.” Shut out his brother. He will not like the feeling of being ignored. Try and have the younger child tell him “No! I don’t like that.” (in a 1 year old version). It is a very powerful message coming from another child.

I would also be overly dramatic when he gets near his little brother. Rush to the child and pick him up. Say “I’m worried you might hurt him. I need to keep him away from you until you’re ready to be gentle.”

Good for you for not spanking! I am amazed by how many here suggest spanking for any misbehaviors! Using natural and logical consequence always works best when disciplining. You can, when he hurts his brother, take him to an area away from his brother and say “When you are ready to be gentle then you can come back with us.” Do not set a time limit (you controlling him). Let him make the choice and return when he is ready to control himself.

Empathize with him when he is calm after a hurting incident. “You must have been really (angry, upset, hurt, frustrated) when you hurt your brother. What can you do next time instead?” He will soon learn to better express himself.

Help him to gain confidence and a sense of power by saying things like “You did that by yourself.” “You stacked every block!” “You can run super fast!” “Look how high you can climb!” You used so many colors on your picture!” Let him know that you notice him. This is a great way to show attention and love.

Hope this helps! Good luck!

Jenny asks…

What can I make for a birthday present for a 1 year old birthday for a baby boy?

This is a good friends birthday for her son, and I know he is going to get toy presents and such from the other friends. But I was wanted to make something special. Something that her and him can enjoy such as something that might hang on the wall, and they can hold onto forever. Any idea’s or suggestions?

The Expert answers:

Come on now Jimmy, I thought you were a girl.

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